Easing your Postpartum Time

Hello fellow Earthlings,

It has been a long while.  Today, I am going to thow out some thoughts about helping to make your postpartum time a little easier.  Transitioning into a family of your first or tenth baby can be challenging.  So here are some tips and tricks to make the transition a little smoother.

Meal Lists

There are web sites out there dedicated to helping get families food in times of transition.  They can be used any time a family is need, whether it is a new baby, a crisis, or you just need a hand because your pantry is low. 
You know your friend who keeps asking what they can do to help you get ready for baby?  This is it!  Have them set up the meal list for you.  It is super easy.  Generally it is about a 15 minute investment in exchnage for about 4 - 8 weeks of meals to be brought to you by friends and family.  

Here's how it works:

You set up an account with the site.  My community uses Foodtidings.com, but Mealtrain.com is also a great one.

You and your partner/husband/wife/live-in parent tell your friend (who is on the phone with you): 

• what you are allergic to 
• what you don't like to eat, what you do like to eat
• what you LOVE to eat 
• how many people does your village need to feed at a meal 
• what time you want the meal delivered
• how often you want meals delivered
• organic?, don't care?
• fresh?, frozen?, delivery?

It is all laid out for your community.  Each person will need to set up an account with the site.  They are both spam free.  The only email you receive is a notice saying "You signed up to bring Erika and Yanis lefse and tater tot hotdish on February 10, 2018", and then a reminder 3 days before the date chosen.  Easy peasy, and no annoying newsletters.  

Your friend who set it up for you will email or text a link for your village to sign up with.  Ask them to post the link in your local parenting group, bowling league, surfing bungalo, or where ever your people are to found.  The link will need to be posted a few times to get the list filled out, don't get discouraged if it takes a week or two for it to fill up.  Typically we send the link out when the pregnant parent is about 38 - 40 wks pregnant.  

All those freezer meals you already made...hang on to them, they will be awesome when your wee babe is a few months old and you are at the end of your rope due to lack of sleep and a shower.  Let your community feed you for the first month or so.  

5 Rules for Visitors

This, I strongly encourage any family to do when a new baby arrives.  These rules set firm boundaries for friends and family who like to visit.  It prevents you from having to host and serve visitors.  When you have a new baby, it is not you who should be serving visitors, they should be serving you, especially grandparents, aunties, and uncles.  

The other benefit is that it helps your community have a way to aid you in your growth as a family.  Who doesn't love to help a friend?

Here are the 5 rules:

1. If you are sick, or think are you coming down with something, please GO HOME
2. Do a chore
1. sweep the floor
2. vacuum
3. wash dishes
4. load of laundry
5. light dusting
6. fold laundry
7. wipe down surfaces
8. (your best friend will clean your bathroom)
3. Beer/Smoothie/Beverage the spouse/partner, walk the dog, pet the cat, talk to the fish
4. Wash your hands with SOAP AND WATER
5. QUIETLY come meet baby 

Run to your local craft or drug store, grab a poster board and a pack of markers.  Make the rule board.  Place the rules on the porch or right on the door.  

Birthing Parent, Stay in Bed

For the parent who has given birth, whether surgically or vaginally, stay in bed as long as you can.  In our home birth and birth center community (Minnesota), we encourage the birthing parent to stay in bed for a minimum of 15 days.  Yes, 15 days.  We break it down into 3 sets of 5.  

• 5 days in the bed
• yes, you get up to go to the bathroom
• learn to nurse your baby
• learn to sleep when baby sleeps
• let your partner/spouse/friends wait on you
• 5 days on the bed
• 5 days around the bed

Why?  It saves your pelvic floor.  Even if you had a surgical birth, yes, you more than likely labored before your surgery, your pelvic floor needs to heal.  

DO NOT DO STAIRS.  The stress of doing stairs too soon will wreak havoc when you are older.  

Feel like this is not doable?  Then try 3 days in, 3 days on, and 3 days around instead.  Some is better than none.  

Call on your community to help facilitate this important piece of the 4th trimester for you.  It is okay to ask for help.

I hope these tips and tricks are helpful for you in the birth of your new family.  It is always exciting to welcome a new bub to the world.  But it also brings its challenges.  

In love and light,

Adrienne

post script

This information is not a substitute for, or to be used instead of medical advice given by your provider.  It is not prescriptive.  It is only to be interpreted as one person passing on experiential information to other people in the world.