Breech Revelations - Magnolia's Birth Story

Heads Up!

My husband and I were so excited to have our first baby.  We prepared for a home birth with our midwife - Rachael McGraw, went to birth classes, started to acquire all sorts of baby do-dads, then...baby is breech at week 33, still at 35, still at 37.  We tried Chiropractic Webster's technique, acupuncture, moxibustion, inversions, headphones on the lower part of the belly, ice at the top of the uterus and heat at the bottom - yup, this baby really didn't want to turn.  This is when our midwife referred us to Gail Tully of Spinning Babies.  Gail confirmed the baby's position and referred us to Dennis Hartung, OB, to begin preparations for a possible hospital birth.  We did attempt an external cephalic version with Dr. Hartung - Doc tries to turn baby manually while you are hooked up to all sorts of monitors.  I still had a dream of having baby at home but baby had different plans.  I was scheduled for induction on the morning of September 23 in Hudson.  I feel fortunate that labor started spontaneously at 559 am, alarm was set for 600 am.

Husband becomes a Hero

We drove to Hudson, the dash board makes a great doula for sacral pressure in the car!  My water broke in the car, too - oh joy!  We labored all day surrounded by our amazing team of midwives - Rachel McGraw, Gail Tully, and Karen Garley, our doula - Vanessa Wilcox, Dr. Hartung, and his nurses.  Bruce, my husband, was my main support and hero of the day.  He held me up, watched me expel more fluids than he thought the human body had, and had a silly joke around every corner.  Plus he played the banjo - how many gals are lucky enough to have live music at their labor?  I laughed through my contractions.  I was so overjoyed to know my body had started labor on its own.  Of course, as contractions became more intense I had to laugh between contractions.
Once I was checked, which Denny did not do until well into active labor, I began to dissociate - I am a survivor of sexual assault and rape.  I neglected to inform him of this detail.  As a result, it has taken three years for me to begin to regain memory of active labor and birth.  As an aside, please, if you are a survivor, inform your providers.  It does matter and it will make a difference for your labor and birth experience.
Anyway, I know we worked pretty hard through the late afternoon and into the evening.  All day long Bruce was by my side and holding me up. We were slow dancing, working with the rebozo, hanging out in the shower, walking about, hands and knees, lunging, hanging from the birth bar - I think we tried everything to get that baby to come on down.  We did get to pushing and the pain was too intense, the checks were excruciating, and everyone was beginning to feel a little discouraged.  Baby was doing well - the monitor showed baby was well and bearing with us.  We were given the choice of cesarean or epidural.  I had an irrational fear of cesarean, so we went with the epidural.  Being a redhead, I don't respond to analgesics well.
I passed out.  My team called me back.  I couldn't move.  I had the skin crawls and itch that makes you want to rip your skin off.  And I had a really hard time focusing.
I was on my back, exactly where I really didn't want to give birth.  I was hoping to use gravity.  I have finally remembered that I had a midwife on each leg, Vanessa and Bruce at my head, and Denny and Gail on the business end of birth.  I can remember feeling Denny slowly working baby down.  Her feet were out!  I reached down and felt them.  Time to go back to work.  Her hips and shoulders were out - with help from Denny.  And then I heard Rachael yell PUSH!  Rachael doesn't yell, ever, so I pushed and baby was born.  I have a physical memory of pushing baby's head out but I feel like I may still be forgetting something.  I do remember not hearing her cry right away.  This scared me and I kept asking about her and then I finally heard the most beautiful cry on earth.  After that cry my memory is very poor.  I know there are details of the final minutes of baby's birth that I don't remember.
It's a girl!  I named her Magnolia Rose.  She was rushed to the pediatricians.  Her APGAR was 3 - 5- 7.  She seemed to be doing alright and then she crashed.  Full organ and brain failure, possible seizures, everything that could go wrong did go wrong and she was rushed to Children's in St. Paul.  At the time I was unaware of how serious things were.  We stayed in Hudson until we received a call from St. Paul saying we needed to come because she might not make it much longer.  We were floored, and made the worlds fastest trip from Hudson to St. Paul.  Then our journey really began.

A Different Road

This is a poem written by me while in the NICU hoping for healing.

On your birthday the joy & pain of labor brought us closer together

On your birthday your dad became a hero

On your birthday the world opened wide so you could land on your feet

On your birthday you changed our lives forever

The sky cried on your second day

Your parents wept

Your midwives & doctors felt deep sorrow too

Those tears & drops of sadness broke our hearts open to help us & you heal

Grief nourished us all into the third day

The sun dried our tears & steamed our spirits open on your third day my Magnolia Rose

You had some peace & rest & time of healing

We saw you protest & wriggle about

You held your mama's hand as she hoped for the best

You heard your aunts healing words & spirit

You listened to your dads tunes of old

On your next day you were warmed & loved

We sit in hopeful anticipation of your strength Magnolia Rose

We love, your village, from coast to coast & pole to pole

We love you my Magnolia Rose

Magnolia was put on a cooling bed for three days as soon as she was admitted to Children's.  We were uncertain and completely in the dark about the treatments being done and what they meant, other than what the neonatologists told us.  We were fortunate to have a very kind staff who was willing to indulge my over inquisitive mind and help us get through our experience as well as possible.  There were some extremely difficult decisions made during our stay in the NICU.  I had to become an advocate for myself and learn not to listen to the rhetoric from the neonatologists that my daughter was the way she was because I bore her vaginally.  I began to really learn about how special breech babies are and what they can teach us.  We had so much support, from everywhere.  The support and love was a welcome form of feeling overwhelmed.
Every day Bruce played banjo and read stories to Magnolia while we were in the hospital.
After two weeks we were able to breathe a little easier - Magnolia was going to make it.  We were told at that point that she was going to be severely disabled.  Another hurdle.  Me being me, I put the pressure on to up our complementary care.  Daily, I did reflexology for her.  Twice a week she received Healing Touch and CranioSacral therapy.  I did reflexology on her everyday.  I applied breast milk to the reflex areas that corresponded with whatever area of her body needed the extra help.  Every time she had a session, her numbers improved the next morning.  We kept it up the entire stay and she continues to get complementary care today.  By the time we were discharged her status was upped to being moderately disabled.
After a couple years of special ed., and more bodywork (chiropractic, craniosacral, massage, yoga, reflexology, and myofascial release) - she is so wonderfully normal!  Beautifully sassy and doing everything a three-year-old should.

 Revelations of a Breech

Also, as far as I know, and I have asked, there are no more breech deliveries with mamas on their back in Hudson.  Everyone is on hands and knees - unpublished studies have shown this is the best position for mama and baby (Frankfurt studies).  I have also learned since, that the treatable disability my daughter has most likely developed in utero and did not occur as a result of her birth - in fact, the literature says her disability is one the most common reasons baby's are breech, in the first place.
I am growing out of my grief and becoming more of a geek than I already was and working at being the best mama I can to a very special little lady.
As a result I have turned my career as an educator and bodyworker to helping women and families know about breech birth.  I feel like I do my best work in therapy room helping moms with sore body's and restricted spaces.  Magnolia has given me so many gifts I can never repay her for - She is a bright light in my world and the inspiration for so much that I do.

Be well,
Adrienne